True story

Sometimes you have a problem that's sort of ongoing and you'd like to resolve it, but you don't really put that much effort into it, forget about it, put it off, whatever. Sometimes you even get sensible advice about it but don't follow it and so you don't get anywhere. Sometimes, at some point, you finally decide to commit to some sort of solution and it's the right one - that's a good day.

We've been living in our house for 5 years, and we have really hard water. Like ridiculous. I think there's pebbles suspended in it. Anyway, hard water build up is bad - it's probably doing bad things to our pipes and appliances, but I can't see that, so no worries...but it has done some visible damage to my hair. It has become dull, rough, and unresponsive to different products, deep conditioning, and so on...it's almost "gummy" at times, and even after a thorough wash, condition, & blow dry it's just blah. No softness. No lightness. Just ew. I don't wash my hair daily either. It's kinda like doll hair - you know that weird fake feel? I even thought it might just be aging (gasp!)

So last night I get this great cut, and the stylist (not my regular stylist, but maybe will become my new regular stylist) asked me if I had hard water, then she said, "I can feel the build up on your hair...see how I can't run my fingers through it?" She was right.

I am a monster. Don't look at meeee!

She suggested a clarifying shampoo. I'd heard this before, but I just never--refer to my first paragraph. Once I tried a baking soda/vinegar thing which seemed to help somewhat, but what a pain in the ass process - I never repeated it. To compound all this, whenever a stylist suggests a product, I can't help but think that they don't really care about my hair, they just want to sell me product. But last night, with my monster-doll hair mocking me in the mirror, I said, "So what do you recommend?"

Since I only get my haircut once in a gazillion years these days, I "splurged" on Paul Mitchell Clarifying, which I am under strict stylist orders to use no more than once a week. Today, I had lunch with a coworker and I told her about it. Her water is incredibly bad too, she told me, and she uses a clarifying shampoo as well, and she said it makes a big difference. I wanted to drive home right then and try it, but I restrained myself.

Here is a Sammy Intermission - this is on our way to the car wash a couple of weeks ago, after the last snowy crap melted.



And now, the conclusion of my story - I used the special shampoo, and as I rinsed my hair, it squeeeaaked! I know squeaking is not necessarily a good thing for hair, but when you haven't heard or felt that in YEARS, it's fantastic and confirms that yes, yes indeed, there was something dreadful going on up there.

After the towel dry, I use a big comb to detangle and it was gliding through effortlessly. It was weird! I used the hair dryer and it's AMAZING! YAAAY! I have my hair back! I was floored that it worked so well in just one shampoo. It's much softer, fluffier (but smooth) and I can run my fingers through it - in fact, I can't keep my hands off. I imagine that it will be even better with regular use.

Later, peeps.
Your friend with the Glorious Hair. Go ahead, touch it. No, I'm not a Goddess, but thank you...you're too sweet.

To serve and protect

One of my dream professions is to be a high-end shoe designer. The closest I ever came was my first job out of college, working as a peon one floor below real-life shoe designers. Sometimes I'd end up in the same elevator and I would size them up, with their funky accessories and ridiculous hair that would never pass as acceptable in my little sea of cubicles. What was that about? Same company but different department dress codes? Oh, the unspoken freedoms of the artsy types - they can get away with anything...and yet there was a small part of me that wanted to dye my hair blond and magenta and wear horn-rimmed spectacles and pulpy fashions.

At this point in my life, however, the closest I'll ever come to being a shoe designer is to appoint myself a Patrolman (Patrolwoman? Patrolperson? How about Officer?) of the Shoe Police. That's right, it's the Shoe Police, Hippie - drop your Birks and freeze!

Summer is by far the busiest season for someone in my line of work. There's nothing like balmy weather to make people think it's OK to walk around carelessly in questionable footwear.

Clearly, I cannot control what you wear around the house, but don't think that I don't care...I do. I think about how your (well not yours, but people's - mostly women's) feet look in those grubby, rotting slides and it makes me sad. I cringe to picture otherwise normal looking toes look monstrous and disproportionate as they splay out the front of ill fitting sandals.

There are probably a dozen or more serious shoe-related offenses in my book, but the two that upset me the most will be the focus of this post. Please avoid the following footwear mistakes, and please, pass this one to your loved ones. Only you can put a stop to bad footwear choices. Protecting us all from such ugliness is a service to your community and to the greater beauty of the world.

Offense #1

I have termed this "The Gargoyle Effect"

It can happen with sandals, open toe, and peep-toe styles. Basically, the wearer's foot is sliding forward, and her toes appear to "grab" the front edge of the shoe...like a gargoyle would wrap its claws around the edge of a building so as not to plummet to its death.

Notice the gargoyle's "toes" here:

Now, notice that this woman pictured below has perfectly normal, manicured feet (by the way, I hate french manicure on toes - it's creepy), however, her sandals are way too dainty for her feet, and so her toes are clawing at them, giving her the Gargoyle Effect:


Just for future reference, don't google "toes" and stuff like that without having your filter on...let's just say that people are really into this stuff in, in a more than Shoe Police way. So anyway, unless you want me to think of you as the demonic stone effigy above, avoid this mistake.

Before I go on to my next offense, I just want to show you this picture - it's like an insane example of crazy bad footwear plus Gargoyle Effect plus disgustingly long toenails (another offense, we'll cover that one another time).


Offense #2
I'm calling this the "Senseless Strap"
This is also a seasonal offense, as it is only physically possible with open sandals and slides. It is a more subtle offense, but once you understand its basic principle, you will never again make this mistake, and you will spot it everywhere.
The strap at the top of the foot should always be across the toes, and should lay over the very bottoms of the toes, thus creating a visually straight line across the toe area. This gives the toes (no matter how short & chubby or long & gnarly) a more uniform and cute appearance. Criss-cross straps that make the V shape, or straps that are even slightly concave (when you look down, the bottom of the curve is facing you) expose too much of the top of the foot, revealing the uneven toe line, and if you know anything about beauty, symmetry is everything. This rule does not apply to flip flops (I have another set of rules for flip flops). Generally speaking, however, unless you have very attractive, perfect feet, you should try to stick to straight across straps that hit the top of the foot/toes at the right place when buying slides or sandals.

This is hard to explain, so some pictures will help:

These are BAD - see how the strap line is concave? Yes, these are ugly guy feet/sandals, but they are a great example. Slide sandals (beach and sport type) are often cut this way, or they criss cross, just creating more of a V than a U, but the ugly effect is the same, as in the Lands End beach slide.

These below, on the other hand, are good - see how the strap is more forward, going across the toes?
Yea, those are mine. I wasn't satisfied with my web search. You can see that my toes are more on the skinny/long side, so image if those straps were concave, or sat higher up on the foot...my toes would look disproportionate and weird. Finally, I should add that this offense can happen with flat, casual and sporty sandals as well as high heeled and dressy sandals.

So after writing this post, I decided to create another blog devoted solely to shoes I like. Stay tuned...

To my followers

Dearest Frogspot Peeps:

I have undoubtedly disappointed you - due to my demanding international travel schedule, book and poster signings, awards, red carpet appearances and press conferences, blogging has taken a back seat.

Don't despair - I have several ideas and saved drafts on queue, awaiting my magical touches of wisdom and wit. I have bookmarked a number of interesting links to material for you to consider, mock, be horrified about, or be delighted about.

I'm off to one of the Greek Islands in the morning (there's over 6000 you know...I forgot which one) for a meeting with developers regarding the opening of another luxury hideaway - they want to use my likeness and a quote from me for their spa promotion materials. By the weekend, I'll be in Mumbai for a Bollywood thingie, then back to the States. I'll blog on the jet...thanks for your patience.

Regards,
Cristina

Take 1, Take 2

Sam likes rock bands, and he totally admires drummers. Tim tried to capture some skills, but Sam gets focused on the camera and watching the replay.




And here is take 2:



There's actually 5 takes, but you get the idea.

On to other recent activities - this weekend I boiled up some edamame. I showed Sam that you get to pop out the bean, and he was totally into them for about half an hour.


Sam received some Easter goodies from Grandma L. Here he is showing off his gardening gloves.

Batman's cape was stuck recently, and would not expand. Sam announced he would fix Batman with his "tools." He sat on the floor and worked very hard for about 15 minutes, switching from pliers to screwdriver, and a little hammering here and there. Finally, he actually did get the cape to pop back out properly (totally by accident). We made a huge deal about his apparent technical abilities.


Finally, a picture of Sam in his new Batman pajamas. The Bat has a blinking LED light sealed inside, which is motion sensitive. Pretty jazzy.