Birthday Party!

Saturday we had Sam's 4th Birthday Party. His birthday fell on Monday the 24th.
We had 8 children under 5, plus a baby girl - I guess that's 9.
We also had a Spiderman pinata, and that was a big hit.
It was chaotic at times, but everyone had fun, and the meltdowns were brief and controlled.

The cake was home made by yours truly to go with the Spiderman theme - red velvet cake with blue frosting (not just any frosting - this was cream cheese, mascarpone cheese, and whipped cream). The whole cake was devoured...which is good news, because as of today, I am officially off the Sugar Train.

While tearing open gifts, Sam screamed, "This is the best birthday EVER!"
So even if he's only had four of them, I'll still take it.

Sunday in the sink

One of Sam's favorite pastimes is playing at the kitchen sink. I run a super thin stream of water, then we select a variety of 'guys' and cups to use. He pushes a chair over to the counter and gets busy.

He fills up the cups and dumps them, bathes the toys, and so on, all the while giving me a running narrative of his work between snippets of conversations with the 'guys.'

He keeps it all contained to the sink area fairly well for a 2 year old, I think...leaving just some minor puddling around the edge and under the chair. I can't complain, it keeps him entertained for at least half an hour...in fact, that is how I was able to draft this entry. Plus it's totally educational, right?

Last week, Sam got into Tim's closet (it's an irresistible disaster). He found these weird laser- light blocking freak simmunition goggles. Simmunition as in simulated ammunition, I believe. It's dorky police training jargon. Anyway, if you ask me, they look more like those big crazy sunglasses really old people wear to drive. Here's Sam, ready to take off at an unreasonably slow speed in his Buick LeSabre:

He soon realized he wasn't getting anywhere fast, so the next morning he went back in and found our bicycle helmets:

Update: after I published this, Tim notified me that the fancy eye gear is actually just a pair of welding goggles. I didn't make up the simmunitions bit - Tim does do that, but apparently you don't need special glasses to do it. What do I know? I've never welded or used simulated ammunition. I've seen my dad weld, but he uses one of those creepy spacey looking helmet things that lifts up on a hinge. When I noticed that these goggles were super dark and blocked out everything, I assumed they were to be used with fancy lasers. I guess I'm just ahead of my time.

It's all gas

Tonight after dinner we sat on the couch for a bit. Tim was playing on the laptop, I was kind of zoned out (the genius must have rest periods), and Sam was climbing on us, around us, and rolling back onto the floor. He let out a sudden, loud and rather deep sounding burp for a toddler. We all giggled and he pointed to his mouth and said, "That was a toot in my mouth!"

Phall Photos

This title just looks more interesting than Fall Fotos. Oh, you know it does. It's more balanced - Ph balanced that is. Don't be jealous of my genius.

Sam is having phun painting pumpkins and lauphing in the pholiage. See?

Now I'm pheeling itchy and pinchy from playing in the leaves with him. Tim just read this and didn't phind it phunny. Then again, I phorgot that he doesn't get it. What a phool. Married to a phreak. It's heaven on earth, pholks.

Ok, I'm shutting this disaster down. Will post more in a couple days.

The Word on The Street

Sam adores Sesame Street. It's the only TV he watches regularly, and I don't mind at all. Most would agree that it's a classic and it continues changing to fit the times. Sometimes I find myself entranced in parts of it with him...I'm not ashamed to admit it.
Before the opening song, there's a segment called "The Word on The Street" where they unveil a new word (and its definition) that will be used throughout the show. A few days ago, the word was predicament.

Tuesday morning, we found out just how attentive Sam is to Sesame Street. He and Tim had watched this particular recorded episode the evening before. As I entered the kitchen, Tim said to Sam, "Do you remember what predicament means?" and Sam adjusted himself in his booster, scrunched his face up, and said in a very serious tone, "Iss like a big, big problem."
I asked him what a problem is, and he said, "Uhmmm.....hmmph" followed by, "Can I have wafoos?" That's waffles to you and me.

He's up from his nap - gotta go! This week is hectic, but I hope to post more by the weekend.

When Boys Understand Cameras

Enjoy Sam enjoying a zucchini muffin.

Story About The Snake

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Sammy. Sammy was playing outside one day. He was playing on the grass with his ball. All of a sudden, the ball went into the road! Sammy didn't know what to do, so he went inside and told his mommy. His mommy said, "Well, we'll just have to get you a new ball because it's dangerous to go out to the road." Sammy went back outside to play, but he still wanted his ball. He didn't listen to his mommy and he went down the driveway and into the road to look for his ball. At first the big cars and trucks scared him, and then a really really big sssssssssnake came out and said, "I'm a big mean ssssnake, and I'm going to bite you!" and the snake bit him! He bit Sammy right on the knee! Sammy cried and ran back inside to tell his mommy and daddy. He said, "Mommy, Daddy, the snake bit me! On the knee! I'm sad and it hurts!" They said, "Oh no! We're going to go get that big mean snake!" and they went outside and found the big snake. Sammy's daddy said, "Listen up you big mean snake, you don't bite anyone!" and the snake said, "Sssssss, I'm going to bite you!" and he tried to bite, but daddy swung him around, and swung him around again and then THREW him really far, into the woods. The snake was gone, and everyone was O-K. Sammy got a band aid for his boo boo. The End.

Sam loves this story, and variations of it. He asks me to tell him The Story About The Snake, and he pays full attention, barely blinking. Afterwards he usually emphasizes something someone said, like "that's RIGHT, you don't bite ANYONE, snake!"

Clearly, the moral is to not go out into the road. I made up this story on the spot some months ago because I was (and am) paranoid about him sneaking off and walking out onto the street.

Maybe it's a very bad idea to use this scare tactic. I don't really know. I might be an unfit parent (recall the walk in the toxic wasteland). Regardless, it's a little less scary than what my grandmother used to tell me to deter me from straying off toward the railroad tracks: the devil dwells on the other side, and the electricity on the tracks prevents him from jumping over to our side. Nice, huh? Ya. I spent a couple years of my childhood in constant fear that the tracks would lose their juice. You bet your tush I never went down there though...instead I stared out my bedroom window in that direction, reassuring myself that everything was running smoothly.

Excerpt from NY Times Bestseller List

for September 30, 2026



HARDCOVER NONFICTION

• I Was Right All Along, C. Ludden


• How Our Son Earned A PhD by age 18, Ludden & Ludden


• Handbag Hobags: Inside the Very Bradley Prostitution Scandal, A. Green


• 50+ and Still Getting Carded - The Beauty Guide, Green, Ludden & Partners Press

Back to the present:

I'm planning to take Sam to the Fly Creek Cider Mill sometime this fall. I told him about it tonight after booktime, and how they make apple juice and we could pick apples right from the trees. He added, "and peppers - we can pick the peppers, they are hanging on the trees! And I can eat them!"

He had peppers on his mind because I wore this necklace today - he calls the stone a pepper. He knows it's not really a pepper, but every time I wear it, he says, "That's a pepper. On your neck. I'm gonna eat it!" and he moves in and pretends to eat it.