No chicken fingers. Please.

The kids menu at Chez Cristina:

Entrees are portioned appropriately for children and come with choice of side and drink. We don't DO chicken nuggets or fingers, mac and cheese, hot dogs or frozen pizza.

Rice and beans $4

Vegetable quiche $4

Turkey sandwich, on whole grain $4

Hummus and pita triangles $4

Grilled cheese, on whole grain $4

Peanut butter & jelly, on whole grain $4

Pasta with butter or marinara $4

Chicken quesadilla $4

Fresh egg salad, tuna salad, or chicken salad with pita triangles or as a sandwich, $4

Sides:

Fresh fruit (seasonal)
Peas
Sauteed or steamed veggie of the day


Drinks:

Milk/Chocolate Milk
Soy milk
Almond milk
Orange juice
Apple juice

Wanted

Open design, newer 3-4 bedroom home, including:

Updated, tasteful kitchen w/ quality appliances and an island or peninsula.

One-and-a-half to two-and-a-half updated, tasteful bathrooms.

Wood floors throughout main living areas, bedrooms can be carpet, but prefer wood.

Lots of natural light throughout, coming through great windows.

Soft or average water (naturally or via high-quality system).

Energy efficient heating system.

Semi-finished to finished basement a bonus, but not necessary.

Attached 2 car garage.

Shed on property.

Location:

Residential or adjacent (walking distance) to residential area in small to medium size city. Near sidewalks. Not isolated in the woods. Hudson Valley preferred, but will consider Western Catskill area, Albany, or Binghamton. Nothing further North.

Minimum 0.29 acres.

Maximum 1 acre (with lots of wild/wooded area so there's little maintenance).

Semi-privacy a bonus but not necessary.

If I were

I'm copying this from the notorios A-L-G.

If I were a month...I'd be July
If I were a day of the week...I'd be Thursday.
If I were a time of day...I'd be noon.
If I were a planet... I'd be Mars?
If I were a sea creature...I'd be a mermaid. Hey, this whole exercise is fantasy.
If I were a direction...I'd be unclear.
If I were a piece of furniture...I'd be an armoire.
If I were a liquid...I'd be COFFEE!
If I were a gemstone...I'd be topaz. Cause I like that word. Topaz...
If I were a tree...I'd be a weeping willow.
If I were a tool...I'd be a power drill.
If I were a flower...I'd be a wild one.
If I were a kind of weather...I'd be balmy and 67.
If I were a musical instrument...I'd be a Fender Stratocaster.
If I were a color...I'd be blue.
If I were an emotion...I'd be all of them at once.
If I were a fruit...I'd be a mango.
If I were a sound...I'd be the THX thing.
If I were an element...I'd be Polonium. I just like the sound of it.
If I were a car...I'd be a sweet euro-styled sedan.
If I were a food...I'd be some kind of cheese.
If I were a place...I'd be a well taken care of flower garden.
If I were a material...I'd be cotton.
If I were a taste...I'd be buttery.
If I were a scent...I'd be the beach in the morning.
If I were an object...I'd be a valuable painting hanging in a famous museum.
If I were a body part...I'd be a penis. That would be the life.
If I were a facial expression...I'd be love.
If I were a song...I'd be "Here Comes the Sun".
If I were a pair of shoes...I'd be classic Manolo Blahnik pumps.


What would you be?