Alive with dirty balls

My parents were in town Sunday night to do some repairs in their rental property, and they camped out in one of the empty apartments. In the morning, I headed over with Sam to hang around and chat while they fixed leaky faucets, sticky locks, and so on.

To my surprise, my mother hadn't packed their espresso maker. Yes, my freak parents take a stovetop espresso maker when they travel, along with the ceramic demitasses and spoons. It's not because they're trendy boomers-turned-coffee snobs: they're just Italian and have been drinking espresso over 'American' coffee for decades. On a recent trip, my grandmother joined them, and she brought a thermos of fresh espresso - somewhere along the highway, she decided it was time for a little treat, and poured espresso for everyone, into demitasse, AS my dad drove. Can you picture a speeding Camry, full of Italians balancing espresso cups?

Back to the point - they wanted coffee and I was sent out to get it. While I try to generally avoid McDonald's in my adult life, one is literally a 30 yard walk from the rental, so it was the quickest option for coffee. I'm waiting online and notice that this particular McD's has one of those kid 'fun zone' areas with the multilevel climby thingies and the nets and the chutes and the ball-filled chambers. It's HUGE and takes up the entire front of the building. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
I'm still waiting when a group of kids file in (looks like a day camp troop?) and they beeline to it. This thing was suddenly alive - it's flexing and shifting along to accommodate all the little bodies twisting around inside it. Hard bass house music would have worked well, as it seemed to be breathing in rhythm. A family with toddlers show up, and they join in. I was suddenly horrified - not at the toddlers, but at the thought of how disgusting this thing could potentially be! I am not a germaphobe mother (I refuse to abuse antibacterial products when warm soapy water works for nearly all situations), but this is an exception...let's think about this:

• unlike hard surface playground equipment, indoor 'zones' are not exposed to rain and sunshine, plus they're made mostly of nylon and canvas stretched across the frames, with lots of nooks and crannies and ball pits
• Most toddlers are in diapers, and sick toddlers drip snot and whatever else at a pretty intense rate
• Older kids are not in diapers, but they're not very reliable hand washers
• Overly excited kids sometimes puke. Or sometimes they spit for fun.
• Poop can escape from diapers. You know it. I know it. I bet those plastic balls know it too.
• I doubt McDs employees are required to take everything down at night and wash it. I'm sure no one has ever wiped down each ball in the ball pit.

I guess what I'm saying is that if poop or puke presents itself somewhere in the fun zone, it's staying in the zone, until of course it rubs off on its visitors and gets to travel to new and exciting places.

Clearly, if your kids have played in one of these and they didn't come down with the plague, you might think I'm being ridiculous. That's fine. I can't guarantee that Sam won't EVER be using something like that - I know I won't be able to avoid it forever, and who's to say that one of his grandmas wouldn't sneak him in for secret fun against his pain-in-the-butt mother's wishes. I know this and I accept it. I'll just try to not think about poop smeared plastic balls.