Team Bride

On my drive home from work, I was listening to *my girl* Terry Gross interviewing the writer of the new film Rachel Getting Married, which is supposed to be the un-wedding movie in terms of its more serious plot line. I may or may not see it, but something the writer said struck me - in explaining how she came up with the story, she pointed out that the 'preparation' of the bride is something that has been with us for thousands of years, across all cultures, and the women involved become fully immersed in helping the bride with this big step in her life. It was really a lovely and sweet observation.

My commute is the only time I have to space out a little and think creatively these days (don't worry, I still manage to keep the car on the road). It's often where ideas for the blog, for work, or for taking over the world are born. Most (ideas) don't survive the trip, but in the meantime, they keep me from cursing the gas gauge. Even before today's program, brides were on my mind because of a recent rash of nuptials among my friends and colleagues, so I've been looking at a LOT of wedding pictures.

In most wedding photos, the bride is by far the most interesting subject. This is expected - she spent weeks (months) planning the details: from the major visual of the dress right down to the shade of lipstick. Even the most modest bride knows the spotlight won't ignore her that day. When the writer talked about the preparation of a bride, I naturally thought back to my own experience. I caved to nearly every pressure to follow tradition: the church, the flowers, the dress, the bridesmaids, the reception, and so on. That said, I don't regret our 'big wedding' because it was fun and whirlwind and we were surrounded by people we love. And yet, I've never been able to completely turn off the little voice that suggested eloping, escaping, and getting married somewhere far away and unique with no stress and no frills. I'm certain these are not uncommon internal debates among brides, but I do wonder how common it is to still be thinking about it six years out.

Thanks to that random radio commentary today, I went back to a few months before our wedding, and I remembered how each woman in my life joyously contributed to the ritual of preparing me to take my own big step - my grandmothers who came to my fittings and told me about their wedding day, my fretful mother that wanted it to be perfect for everyone, my mother-in-law who wanted whatever Tim and I wanted, my bridesmaids that hung on my every silly directive, my girlfriends that called weekly and asked if there was anything I needed, big or small, the flower girl that practiced her walk, and even the seamstress who made me feel like a model. I had a team, really. If there's one thing that now tips the scale and turns off that little voice, it's realizing that in preparing to be a bride, I, along with these women, took part in an ageless tradition, and I am grateful for having had the experience.