Against Texting: A Polemic

If you recognized my title as biting off acknowledging Kipnis' work, then Good for You, hee hee. If not, that's ok. It's not that relevant here, it's just a good title.
Maybe this won't turn out to be as controversial to some, however, there are those that would roll their eyes. So roll them and enjoy the sensation, cause you're about to get schooled, bitches. I say this with love of course.


First, let's get some things straight:


I don't abhor texting.
I can appreciate its usefulness in a variety of situations, like, for example, when you're in a loud environment and it's hard to hear, or when you're in an audience and can't talk and you need to communicate with someone outside the venue, or just generally when you need (and need is a relative term here) to communicate with someone, and calling them and flapping your gums is just not a good option. I've done it. I do it sometimes.

I'm admittedly not very good at texting.
Part of the reason is that we don't have a text plan, and my phone does not have one of those tiny keyboards made especially for easy texting, so I don't get a lot of practice. Sure, I've received and sent texts, but the whole process is time consuming and dumb to me, unless calling is simply not a good option.


I am not a luddite. Yea, I know my last name might have you think otherwise. Ha-ha. But seriously, I love progress and change and I love new technology. I have a significant on-line presence. Goodness, I like to go into the Mac stores just to cry, people...and, finally, I get paid to work in an on-line environment. OK? Just so we are square.


Since I'm not coming from a place of ignorance or anti-tech, and I do not necessarily subscribe to some of the recent whining out there, I hope you can be open to my forthcoming rant.
Let's start with two situations in which texting is completely and utterly unacceptable:




Texting while driving.
Really, you can call me old or a nervous nelly or whatever, but texting and driving is probably about the stupidest and most irresponsible driving related thing a person can do besides driving under the influence. I can deal with taking calls, or even making one...but texting while driving is Reckless. I don't care if you're an expert stunt driver. Just freakin talk. What's the big emergency? I mean, it's SO important, it came via a text that you have to check while you're going 75...and text back. It's kind of juvenile. You may as well crack open a beer. Hell, why don't you just whip out your laptop and blog?
I have been in cars with drivers checking and sending texts. Constantly. I was so offended, so freaked out...and yes, their driving was pretty damned scary as a result. I didn't say anything, and now I regret it. I don't plan on riding with these particular people anymore, and unfortunately, am not impressed with them.


Texting when I'm fucking talking to you.
I'm not sure I got all the feeling across here...what do you think? It has happened to me. It's offensive. I'm not talking about a casual check...that's not really a big deal. And if you must stop our conversation and excuse yourself? Fine. No problem. I'm talking about someone in my physical presence that is actually reading and actively texting back while purportedly listening to me, saying, "No, go ahead, I'm listening [click-click-click]" Are you kidding me? Inevitably they gloss over with the "uh-huh" and, "I'm sorry, what was that again?" Fuck you, that's what I said.

Phew, that felt good. I apologize for the F-bombs, gentle readers, but they help this girl sometimes.

And now onto the more philosophical argument:

I can understand the temptation to check your phone a lot, especially if it has all the latest apps...but I don't understand the need to text and practically have a side texting conversation when you are with people and the group is talking. Even if no one is talking to you, specifically. You can't wait till you get home? Or until you can step away? Maybe this is the case sometimes...but really? Honestly? You're not the President, and your friends and family aren't either. If you must, just excuse yourself, just as you would if your phone actually RANG and you were going to talk to someone. Let me stress that I am not talking about a quick read/reply, I'm talking about sentences.

To me, the person engrossed in texting is totally checked out and will never pick up on nuances or subtleties of the given situation. Never. And really, that's what it's all about a lot of times, right? How do we get instincts? How do we build trust? Respect? Understanding? We engage and listen to one another, even if we don't want to be there. It's about subtlety and eye contact and nuance. That's how humans relate. It's about being present, as trite as that sounds.

The same argument could be made about someone being on the phone...but there is a difference...people typically know you are on the phone. They can hear you, see you holding it to your ear...there is a consciousness and understanding among others that you are not fully engaged. With texting, it's often kinda sneaky, for example, someone says something rather important, and you realize that a person that's supposed to be part of the situation has been looking down, texting and pretending to listen. It's a little gross. It irritates me and I want to stab them.

Arguments could be made that people who daydream or doodle are not present as well, but this is not the case. Doodling can actually help a person stay focused where they may otherwise drift off. Daydreaming takes you away, but it uses your other capacities, not your left-brain...you're not locked into looking at a small screen, typing and focusing upon another entirely different situation, conversation, and person. And daydreaming doesn't make you look rude.

I am closing this abruptly. No conclusion. This post was exhausting. I wonder how long it would take me to text it.